A Fearful Denial: Waiting for Help May Be Bad For Marriage

It is generally agreed that the divorce rate in America is between 40-50%. The highest rates of divorce are among those younger than thirty years of age. Is it possible that events that occurred prior to marriage may lead some to divorce based on certain fears?

The growth of those who have social phobias may have a bearing on the number of divorces early in the life of a marriage.

The Statistics

According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) more than one third of Americans who suffer with social phobias will wait 10 years or more before seeking help.

The reason this is important is that many social phobias begin in school. If the individual who struggles with social phobias also struggles in their marriage relationship because of these phobias it can have a direct bearing on the potential of divorce.

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ADAA President & CEO Jerilyn Ross, MA, LICSW suggests, “In extreme cases, the disorder can disrupt social lives to the point that people may have few or no relationships at all, making them feel powerless and alone.”

More Stats

Consider the impact of the following data.

• 34% said their disorder led to serious fights with their significant others. Ross says this may be because their disorder caused them to have difficulty coping with activities that, to people without social anxiety disorder, seem normal and unthreatening. For example, someone with the disorder may be afraid to attend social functions or family events, which their significant other may find irrational and annoying.

• 77% said their untreated social anxiety disorder has a negative impact on their romantic relationships. For example, experts say, they may have difficulty discussing their disorder with their partner or feel that their partner does not understand what they are going through, which can lead to difficulty trusting one another.

• 35% said their disorder caused them to avoid intimacy, which Ross says may happen since their experiences dealing with people – or the fear of doing so – cause them to struggle with unbearable anxiety.

• 24% said they felt their disorder caused their significant other to not respect them. Experts say this may be because they fear their disorder is considered a weakness or character flaw. (Source: ADAA)

Anxiety awareness professionals are seeking to help individuals come to terms with social phobias and deal with the root causes before relational damage is done.

Beyond Relationships

Many individuals who struggle with social phobias may attempt to cope by using alcohol or drugs. Many will wrestle with depression and most will wonder where they fit in this life.

This is why the subject is more than just the statistics that may contribute to divorce. An individual’s health and well-being are on the line.

The ADAA  suggests a dilemma for the social phobic individual.

• 75% reported that social anxiety disorder has had a negative impact on their ability to carry out normal activities
• 69% said they do not want people to think they are crazy
• 58% said they are embarrassed by their disorder

Now consider this…

• 59% who received treatment said it had a major positive impact on their ability to have a romantic relationship (Source: ADAA)

What Does This Mean?

By removing the stigma of social phobia it becomes possible for individuals to get the help they need without the anxiety many currently face. When they get that help it ultimately improves the likelihood that they will be able to foster improved relationships with a partner, family and friends.

Ten years is a long time to admit a need for help. If you find yourself in these statistics it’s time to discover a road to recovery.