Fear of Loneliness

Kyle is nearing 40 years old. His Facebook page has well over a thousand friends and he regularly posts about his day. His friends often respond and from outward appearances seem to be a great encouragement to Kyle, but not enough. Kyle lives with Eremophobia, the fear of loneliness.

Kyle wants to get married. He would love to have children of his own, yet every day that passes without that prospect adds to his growing sense of loneliness. His parents have passed away and he has no other close family. Kyle is well respected in his field of expertice, but some days all the cyber friends in the world can’t touch his loneliness.

What Causes Eremophobia?

This fear is often compounded by the natural desire to connect with others and then finding that this natural desire is denied by circumstances that are often outside the control of the phobic personality.

This individual may have heard from a trusted adult growing up about the pain they felt at being left alone. That could be the result of an untimely death of a spouse or an unwanted divorce. The sense of loneliness may have been so profound the phobic personality may have determined they would never feel such loneliness when they grew up. Yet, still the loneliness comes.

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This individual may try desperately to connect with others to avoid loneliness, but it might also be that an attempt that comes on too strong actually repels others. Even if this phobic personality is aware they may be trying too hard it is difficult to resist the idea of pushing forward with a friendship where none has really been allowed to grow.

Symptoms of Eremophobia

This is a social phobia, but radically different than others. In this case the eremophobe may be overanxious to participate in social gatherings with the intent of developing a friendship or relationship that will help ease their gnawing loneliness. This can cause the phobic personality to come across negatively to many and result in feeling as if they are a social outcast. This can be difficult especially when a relationship is what they most desire.

Other symptoms may also include…

• Trembling
• Air hunger
• Anticipation
• Mood swings
• Anger
• Hope
• Aggression
• Crying

This is one fear that operates on multiple levels of emotion. There can be moments of euphoria and excitement at a possible friendship, and there can be the pain of going home without any real prospects of friendship.

How to Overcome Eremophobia

This fear may require guidance on how to interact with people. Yes, a therapist will be of help in dealing with the fear of loneliness, but because there is often a strong social component to this fear there may also need to be some help in learning how to interact with people in a way that doesn’t smother or overwhelm. Both the fear and the actions can be retrained, but it will take a strong desire on the part of the phobic personality to make it happen – with help.

The fear of loneliness is also referred to as:

• Loneliness fear
• Eremophobia